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November 30, 2012

Has anyone ever done a cleanse before?

It’s the worst.


People talk about how great you feel during and after, but all I felt was hungry. For 9 days.

I’ve never done a cleanse before, but Cobi has a few times. He mentioned he wanted to do one before the holidays, and for some bizarre reason I thought it would be a good idea to join in.

We decided to start last Wednesday, so as not to pass out during the Tuesday night activities Cobi and I do (hockey and ballet, respectively).

Day 1, 2 and 3 consisted of nothing but lemon juice in distilled water. That’s it. Nothing else.

Oh, I tell a lie. We also had to choke down about a million pills a day, each doing it’s own magical deed, each being the size (and colour) of a Shetland pony.


To be honest the hunger was no problem. The worst thing was having zero energy. By day three I could hardly lift my arms to shampoo my hair. Brutal.


It may look like we’re friends, but really I hated that jug. I named him Howard. Howard sucks. Turns out lemon juice in distilled water is not good.

I somehow made it through the first three days, and I swear Saturday morning was like Christmas!!

Saturday marked the day we could ditch the lemon sludge and introduce pure fruit and veggie juices. $100+ later and we had a feast fit for a bizarre king!


My first real(ish) meal in three days was the juice from Bananas, Strawberries, Blueberries and Blackberries.


Can you tell I was excited?

It was really fun coming up with all sorts of different flavour combinations, but I was so surprised with just how much fruit you had to juice to get a decent amount of liquid!!


This was what we served our ‘meals’ out of for the weekend – so appropriate!

On Saturday, my babysitter from when I was a newborn came over with her husband and daughter.


While everyone else enjoyed a meal of stuffed chicken, beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, Cobi and I enjoyed our juice version of Gazpacho – we juiced garlic, onion, tomato and cucumbers. It was a terrible colour, but relatively tasty. But man did I want some potatoes…


One thing that kept my spirits up was the brief appearance of snow. Ski season is coming everyone, tune up those skies and get loose!! Geoff Guy, you’re going down this year.

After our 3 days of Lemon Juice and 2 days of Fruit&Veg juice, we were finally able to eat solids! Waking up Monday morning and being able to bite into a carrot was pretty spectacular… good grief I’ve never uttered those words in my life.


Look at that lunch. Nothing but raw veg.

Could have used some Hidden Valley Ranch, but just being able to eat solids was enough for me.


By dinner, the joy of crunch was starting to wear off. I was done with raw rabbit food and wanted nothing more than to devour a Burger’s Priest burger. Mmmm.


Unfortunately I wasn’t getting a burger any time soon, so I got my jollies by eating lots of sweet fruits. Pomegranates are awesome, but I ruined two shirts and a sweater trying to get those tasty seeds out…

The raw veg stage lasted for Monday and Tuesday, and Wednesday and Thursday we were allowed to introduce Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, and we were able to lightly cook our veggies. We went out for dinner Wednesday night, and I was nervous there wouldn’t be anything for Cobi and I to eat. We ended up at Mashu Mashu, and turns out there were tons of salads and grilled veggie plates we were able to have… You mean people actually eat like this on their own? With no cleanse?? Madness!!

Even though we’ve been eating solid foods for the last four days, my energy levels still aren’t back to where they had been. Dance on Tuesday really wore me out, I couldn’t believe how much energy it was taking just to hold my arms up.

Today is Friday, which is a very happy day because we can finally bring back lean meats!! I’m heading home for the weekend to celebrate my Grandfather’s birthday, and I’m so excited to be able to sit at the table and eat real food like a normal person.


Kinder Advent Calendar
And tomorrow I get to open Day 1 of the COOLEST advent calendar I’ve ever seen!! A Kinder Advent Calendar?? Seriously?? Amazing.


During the cleanse I really tested my willpower (of which I usually have none – if there is a cookie, I will eat it), and I rediscovered just how good fruits and vegetables are. Never in my life have I been so content with eating a sliced pear after dinner as my sweet treat for the day. I’m hoping I can keep up the habit of eating lots of raw fruit & veg, maybe with a brownie thrown in here and there for good measure…

Overall I guess it wasn’t so bad.

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